He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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