quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
