i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
