if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
