I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
