when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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