Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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