What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
