Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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