Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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