9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
