Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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