lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
