the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
