What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
