Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
