no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
