Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i now understand why vodka
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
