Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
