guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
