so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
