yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
