so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
