I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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