Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she pinky promised me she was 18
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
