We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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