If i come over, it means nothing
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize