Please, let me fuck your mom
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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