yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize