it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize