You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
