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Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
