you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
