the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
