That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
