New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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