you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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