Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
