He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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