I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
