dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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