I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
