he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
