im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Randomize
