i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
