I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We have so much sex to catch up on
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
