her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
