I feel like abortions should bother me more
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
