if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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