Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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