You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
