people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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