i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
