You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
