its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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