I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
