just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
