Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
