he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
