So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
